Is Love Supposed to Hurt This Much?
The Hidden Impact of Toxic Relationships
Toxic relationships are more than just emotionally draining. They can have a lasting impact on your mental, emotional, and even physical well-being. I know as I have first-hand experience of being in a toxic relationship.
The truth is that being connected to someone who is controlling, manipulative, or constantly critical can erode your self-esteem and sense of self over time. It doesn’t matter if this person is a partner, friend, family member, or coworker,
At the heart of a toxic relationship is an imbalance of power. One person often dominates while the other is left walking on eggshells as they try to avoid conflict or emotional fallout. This dynamic can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, depression, and feelings of worthlessness. Over time, you may begin to question your own judgment, withdraw from others, or feel trapped in a cycle of emotional highs and lows.
These are classic symptoms of emotional abuse or trauma bonding. In my case, it drove me to the point of a suicide attempt. Waking up in a psych ward of a hospital was the “kick in the butt” I needed to make a change. I waited too long to get the help and resources I needed to end the relationship. So how do you know if you are in a toxic relationship? Let’s look at some of the common red flags.
Common Red Flags in Toxic Relationships:
Constant Criticism or Blame: You’re made to feel like nothing you do is right.
Gaslighting: They twist the truth to make you question your memory, sanity, or perceptions.
Control Issues: They dictate what you wear, who you see, or how you spend your time.
Lack of Support: Your accomplishments are downplayed or ignored entirely.
Emotional Rollercoasters: You feel confused, unbalanced, or manipulated.
Isolation: They discourage you from spending time with others or make you feel guilty for doing so.
These red flags can take a serious toll on mental health, often leaving victims feeling confused, ashamed, and emotionally exhausted. Prolonged exposure to such behaviors can also lead to PTSD-like symptoms, difficulty trusting others, and struggles with future relationships.
Ironically, some of these red flags are easy to “write off” as “he’s having a bad day” or “she’s just not feeling well today.” The red flags can be very subtle before they truly manifest themselves. I wrote about this in “Torched – Burnt By a Gaslighter” as I wanted to show others just how subtle the red flags truly are, how easy it can be to dismiss them, and why it can take someone years before they leave a toxic relationship.
Healing from a toxic relationship starts with recognizing the signs, setting boundaries, and, when needed, seeking professional help. Therapy, support groups, or coaching can help you rebuild confidence, reestablish healthy patterns, and rediscover your voice.
You deserve relationships that lift you up and not tear you down. Remember that protecting your peace isn’t selfish—it’s essential.
If you, or someone you know, is in a toxic or abusive relationship, please reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE or https://www.thehotline.org.
Until next time,
Coach Deborah Griffiths
Website: www.brokentoboldness.com
Email: deborah@brokentoboldness.com
P.S.: Before you go. You can access more resources in the links below. Whether you're looking for tools to support your healing journey and personal growth resources, explore guides, books, reflections, and practical content designed to help you grow in confidence, clarity, and courage as you move from brokenness to boldness.
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