Why I Don’t Think I’m Ever Good Enough

There’s a quiet voice that follows me more often than I like to admit. It whispers that no matter how much I accomplish, no matter how hard I try, I’m still falling short. Not smart enough. Not healed enough. Not successful enough. Just… not enough. Do you ever feel this way?

Several years ago, I lost a “good” amount of weight to get ready for my daughter’s wedding. I wanted her to be proud of me, and I wanted to look good in the photos. We all know that wedding photos will be around for a long time, and I didn’t want anyone to ever say, “Look at the fat lady” and be an embarrassment to my daughter.

Like so many people who lose weight, I gained most of it back. There – I said it. I’m embarrassed to admit this but unless I do, that little voice will keep me from attaining my goals. To get back on track, I joined a metabolic health program in November and am working with a coach. I now have lost 13 pounds. I know it is time to work on my health – for my children, for my grandchild, but mostly for me.

And if I am going to be totally honest here, I didn’t always spend according to my means and accumulated some debt. In June, I found a wonderful debt management program where I have now paid off close to $8000 in outstanding debt. It is not easy to face our fears, and, yes, our weaknesses, but having a plan in place, along with support, has been a Godsend.

The belief that I wasn’t good enough didn’t come from nowhere. It was built over time—layer by layer—through comparison, criticism, and experiences where love or approval felt conditional. When you’re praised only when you perform, achieve, or stay agreeable, you start to believe your worth must be earned. And once that belief takes root, it’s hard to shake.

I’ve chased “good enough” in many forms. By saying yes when I wanted to say no. By over working, over giving, over explaining, over apologizing, overspending and overeating. For a long time, I thought if I did more, became more, or fixed myself enough, that voice would finally quiet down.

But it never did.

What I’m learning now is that feeling “not good enough” isn’t proof of inadequacy—it’s often a sign of unresolved wounds. Wounds from being dismissed, minimized, or taught that love was something to earn instead of something to receive. That inner critic isn’t truth; it’s conditioning.

The hardest shift has been realizing this: my worth was never missing. My belief in it was.

As I close out this year, I’m choosing reflection over self-judgment and honesty over perfection. Instead of measuring success by how much I accomplished, I’m asking how well I took care of myself – physically, mentally, spiritually and financially.

In 2026, I’m committing to doing more of the inner work—strengthening my boundaries, softening my self-talk, and learning to validate myself without waiting for permission. This next year isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about finally showing up fully as me.

Until next time,

Coach Deborah

Website: www.brokentoboldness.com

Email: deborah@brokentoboldness.com