Loneliness During the Holidays: Why It Hurts More — and How to Protect Your Peace
The holidays are often wrapped in sparkle, celebration, and family gatherings. But for many people—especially women navigating divorce, healing from emotional abuse, or rebuilding life after trauma—this time of year brings something very different:
Loneliness.
Silence.
Grief.
Triggering memories.
And a sense of not belonging anywhere.
If you’re feeling any of this, you’re not alone. In fact, holiday loneliness is incredibly common, even among people who appear joyful on the outside.
Why Loneliness Hits Harder During the Holidays
First, there’s the pressure to “be happy.” Every commercial, movie (Hallmark Christmas movies anyone?), and social post tells us this is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year. But when you’re hurting, exhausted, or starting over, that pressure can feel suffocating.
Then memories resurface — even the painful ones. The holidays often hold emotional weight. Old traditions, relationships that no longer exist, or past trauma can resurface unexpectedly.
Our feelings of isolation increase. As families gather and couples celebrate, those who are single, divorced, or estranged can feel more alone than usual—even in a room full of people.
Lastly, financial and emotional stress multiply. Gift-buying, travel, co-parenting schedules, and expectations can compound stress, especially when you’re already carrying heavy emotional load.
Did you know that Domestic Violence Often Increases During the Holidays?
This is a reality many people don’t talk about.
The holidays can magnify tensions in unhealthy relationships. According to multiple studies and survivor reports, domestic violence incidents spike between Thanksgiving and New Year’s.
Why?
Financial stress
Increased alcohol use
Heightened emotions
More time at home
Isolation from support systems
Pressure to “keep the peace” for the holidays
If you or someone you love is experiencing domestic violence, please know:
You are not responsible for someone else’s behavior.
You deserve safety.
You deserve peace.
You deserve support.
You should also reach out to the Domestic Violence Awareness Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE.
Tips to Protect Your Heart, Your Energy, and Your Safety
1. Set boundaries early and firmly.
You don’t have to attend every event.
You don’t have to respond to every message.
You don’t have to “perform” just because it’s the holidays.
Your peace comes first.
2. Create new traditions that nourish you.
A solo walk, a cozy movie night, journaling, attending a holiday workshop, volunteering, or hosting a small gathering with safe people—these all count as new traditions.
3. Stay connected to people who see you, support you, and believe you.
Loneliness worsens when we isolate. Reach out to trusted friends, family, coaches, or support groups—even if it’s just a quick check-in.
4. Have a safety plan if you’re in or leaving an abusive relationship.
A safety plan can include:
Where you’ll go if things escalate
Who you’ll contact
Important documents in one place
Emergency money
A code word with a trusted friend
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
Text: “START” to 88788
5. Limit alcohol if you’re around unstable or controlling people.
You want to stay aware, clear, and able to protect yourself emotionally and physically.
6. Practice grounding techniques to manage anxiety, triggers, or overwhelm.
A few you can use anywhere:
Deep breathing
Naming five things you see
Placing your hand on your chest
Repeating: “I am safe. I am strong. I am in control.”
7. Remember: Being alone does NOT mean being unworthy.
Sometimes solitude is the doorway to clarity, healing, and rediscovering who you are.
If you’re entering this holiday season with a heavy heart, know this:
You don’t have to fake joy.
You don’t have to bury your pain.
You don’t have to go through the holidays alone.
You can choose peace.
You can choose safety.
And you can choose to surround yourself with people who honor your healing, your boundaries, and your journey.
If you need support, community, or guidance navigating divorce recovery, trauma healing, or starting over, I’m here for you.
You are allowed to take up space.
You are allowed to heal.
You are allowed to begin again.
You may be bent… but you are never broken.
Until next time,
Coach Deborah Griffiths
Website: www.brokentoboldness.com
Email: deborah@brokentoboldness.com