When the House Is Quiet: Overcoming FOMO When Your Kids Are With Your Ex
One of the hardest parts of divorce isn’t always the courtroom.
It’s the quiet.
It’s the weekends when the house feels too still.
It’s the photos you imagine being taken without you.
It’s wondering if they’re laughing… and you’re not there.
If you’ve ever felt that wave of FOMO when your kids are with your ex, please hear me:
You are not a bad mom.
You are not replaceable.
And you are not missing out on your motherhood.
You are navigating shared custody — and that requires emotional strength most people don’t see.
Let’s talk about how to move through it.
Reframe the Narrative
FOMO often comes from the story we tell ourselves:
“They’re having more fun there.”
“They won’t miss me.”
“I’m losing time.”
But the truth?
Love is not measured in days on a calendar.
Your children benefit from having two safe parents. Their joy in another space is not a rejection of you. It’s a sign they feel secure enough to thrive.
That’s a win — even when it stings.
Create a “Me Time” Ritual Instead of a Waiting Period
If you treat kid-free days as something to “get through,” they will feel lonely.
Instead, make them intentional.
Schedule a lunch with a friend.
Take a class.
Work on the dream you put on hold.
Go to the gym.
Write. Rest. Reclaim.
This is not selfish.
This is rebuilding.
You are still a mother — and you are also a woman with a future.
Stop Social Media Comparison
Nothing fuels custody FOMO like scrolling.
You don’t need to monitor every outing or smile posted online. Protect your peace. Mute if you need to. Unfollow if you need to.
Your healing matters more than your curiosity.
Stay Connected Without Hovering
A simple routine helps:
A goodnight text.
A Sunday call.
A small note in their bag.
Consistency builds security — for them and for you.
Use the Space to Strengthen Your Identity
Divorce often forces us to ask: Who am I outside of this marriage?
Shared custody adds another layer: Who am I when I’m not actively mothering?
This can feel scary. But it’s also powerful.
You get to rediscover:
Your passions
Your friendships
Your voice
Your purpose
Your children don’t need a mother who disappears when they leave.
They need a mother who is whole when they return.
Feel It — But Don’t Live There
It’s okay to cry when the door closes.
It’s okay to miss them.
Feel it. Name it. Honor it.
But don’t let it define your worth.
FOMO isn’t about missing out.
It’s about adjusting to a new rhythm.
And rhythm takes time.
A Loving Reminder
Your children are not replacing you.
They are expanding their world.
And you are expanding yours too.
This season can become the one where you:
Build your strength.
Heal your heart.
Reclaim your confidence.
Start your next chapter.
You are not broken.
You are bent.
And you are still their home.
Until next time,
Coach Deborah Griffiths
Website: www.brokentoboldness.com
Email: deborah@brokentoboldness.com