Holiday Loneliness After Divorce: Why This Season Hurts More Than You Expect

Understanding the emotional impact, real statistics, and how to cope when you’re missing your children.

The holidays have a way of magnifying everything—our joy, our stress, our expectations… and yes, our loneliness. If you’re going through a divorce or navigating your first holiday season without your kids, the emptiness can feel louder than the Christmas music in every store.

I certainly remember the first time I spent the holidays alone. The emptiness of not seeing my kids open up their gifts on Christmas morning left a lasting impression.

Did you know that 61% of Americans expect to feel sad or lonely during the holidays this year? [1] And in prior years, over half (55%) reported feelings of holiday loneliness.[2] For adults who’ve been through major changes like divorce, the season can feel even more isolating.[3]

And if no one has told you this yet: you’re not weak for struggling. You’re human.

Divorce doesn’t just end a marriage. It restructures your world—your identity, your traditions, your sense of belonging. When your children spend the holiday with the other parent, it can feel like your heart has been placed inside a snow globe someone keeps shaking. You may feel forgotten. You may feel invisible. You may feel like you’re on the outside of your own life, looking in. I certainly remember the first time I spent the holidays alone. The emptiness of not seeing my kids open their gifts on Christmas morning has left a lasting impression.

But here’s the truth I want you to hold onto: Loneliness doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re healing.

Research shows that loneliness isn’t just sad — it can be dangerous. Chronic loneliness has been linked with health risks on par with smoking or physical inactivity.[4]

If you’re divorced, separated, missing your kids this holiday—don’t ignore this feeling. The good news? The quiet is also where strength is rebuilt.

This season, I invite you to create something new—even if it’s small. Light a candle. Write a letter to your future self. Make a simple meal you love. Call a friend who “gets it.” Go for a walk and breathe deeply. Your traditions don’t have to be grand to be meaningful; they just have to honor you.

I ended up creating a “second” Christmas for my kids. It may not have been on December 25th but when they came home from their visit, they were greeted by a Christmas tree complete with lights, ornaments and, of course, gifts under the tree. It became a new tradition for us. I used the “quiet” time to put this together to fill the emptiness I was feeling.

Remember - this holiday may feel different, but different doesn’t mean doomed. Your story is still unfolding. The chapter you’re in now is not the one you’ll stay in.

You are not forgotten. You are not broken. You are becoming

Until next time,

Coach Deborah

Website: www.brokentoboldness.com

Email: deborah@brokentoboldness.com

[1] Value Penguin, https://www.valuepenguin.com/lonely-holiday-survey, website visited November 16, 2025

[2] Texas Health Resources, https://www.texashealth.org/areyouawellbeing/Behavioral-Health/Mental-Health-and-the-Holidays-Coping-with-Loneliness-and-Stress, website visited November 16, 2025

[3] Ohana, https://ohanahcp.com/the-connection-between-loneliness-during-the-holidays-and-mental-health, website visited November 16, 2025

[4] Mayo Clinic News Network, https://newsnetwork.mayoclinic.org/discussion/loneliness-and-social-isolation-through-the-holidays/, website visited November 16, 2025