When Darkness Builds: Understanding How Someone Becomes Suicidal
⚠️ Trigger Warning
This post discusses suicide, suicidal thoughts, and self-harm. If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call or text 988 in the United States to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If you are outside the U.S., please look up your local crisis line right now. You are not alone, and help is available.
For the next few weeks, I will be talking about suicide. While much has been done to remove the stigma around this topic, there is still more work to do.. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), it is estimated that over 49,000 died by suicide and another 1.5 million attempted suicide in 2023.[1]
This subject is one that is near and dear to my heart because I, too, attempted suicide in 1995. There were several contributing factors to my attempt – an abusive marriage and experiencing major depression. The bottom line – my emotional state was in complete chaos. I’m thankful every day that my attempt was unsuccessful, but the daily struggle is very real for me to make sure I maintain my emotional health.
Why We Must Talk About It?
Some people imagine suicide as an impulsive decision, a sudden act that happens out of nowhere. The truth is much more complex. For many, suicidal thinking builds over time as stress, loss, or illness combined with deep feelings of hopelessness. Talking openly about how someone may arrive at this point is not about frightening people — it’s about understanding, compassion, and prevention.
What Does “Becoming Suicidal” Mean?
Suicidal thoughts can fall along a spectrum:
Passive thoughts such as “I wish I didn’t wake up tomorrow”.
Active thoughts like “I’m thinking about ending my life”.
Planning or preparing for the suicide attempt (such as gathering means, setting a date).
Not everyone who thinks about suicide acts on those thoughts, but every thought deserves to be taken seriously. [2]
Risk Factors That Increase Vulnerability
Research shows that suicide rarely has a single cause. Instead, it usually arises from a combination of risk factors such as:
Mental health conditions (depression, bipolar disorder, PTSD, substance use disorders).
Previous suicide attempts — one of the strongest predictors of future risk.
Chronic pain or illness that reduces quality of life.
Trauma, abuse, or significant life events such as divorce, job loss, or legal trouble.
Access to lethal means (particularly firearms or large amounts of medication).
Hopelessness and isolation, when someone feels they have no reason to live or no one to turn to. [3]
How Does Stress and Vulnerability Interact?
Even people without a history of mental illness can become suicidal under extreme stress. A sudden breakup, financial collapse like a stock market crash, bullying, or grief can push someone already struggling closer to the edge. Think of it like pressure building inside a pressure cooker — when the stress exceeds someone’s coping capacity, thoughts of escape through suicide may surface.[4]
I want to add that if you know someone who has been going through a hard time, check in on them, especially if they have withdrawn from their usual activities. They may be contemplating suicide.
Protective Factors That Buffer Risk
Thankfully, protective factors can reduce the likelihood of suicide even when risk factors are present. These protective factors include:
Strong social support from family, friends, or community.
Access to mental health care and willingness to seek help.
Healthy coping strategies such as journaling, physical activity, and spiritual practices.
A personal sense of purpose or responsibility (e.g., for children, pets, or a cause).
Problem-solving skills and hope for the future.[5]
Myths vs. Facts
Let’s take a moment to look at some of the myths surrounding suicide and what is true.
Myth: Talking about suicide will put the idea in someone’s head.
Fact: Asking someone directly about suicidal thoughts can save their life. It shows you care and gives them permission to open up.[6]
Myth: People who talk about suicide won’t really do it.
Fact: Talking, writing, or joking about suicide can be a warning sign — and should never be dismissed.[7]
Next Steps
Understanding how someone becomes suicidal is the first step toward compassion and prevention. The next post in this series will focus on how to recognize the warning signs and how to respond if you’re worried about someone.
If you, or someone you know, is struggling right now, please pause and reach out for support:
In the U.S., call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
If you’re outside the U.S., search “suicide helpline” in your country.
You are not alone. There is hope, and help is available.
✅ Sources:
[1] Centers for Disease Control Suicide Prevention, https://www.cdc.gov/suicide/risk-factors/, website visited on 9.21.25
[2] National Institute on Mental Health, https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/suicide-prevention, website visited 9.21.25
[3] American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, https://afsp.org/risk-factors-protective-factors-and-warning-signs/, website visited on 9.21.25
[4] Centers for Disease Control Suicide Prevention, https://www.cdc.gov/suicide/risk-factors/, website visited on 9.21.25
[5] Centers for Disease Control Suicide Prevention, https://www.cdc.gov/suicide/risk-factors/, website visited on 9.21.25
[6] National Institute on Mental Health, https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/suicide-prevention, website visited 9.21.25
[7] American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, https://afsp.org/risk-factors-protective-factors-and-warning-signs/, website visited on 9.21.25
Until next time,
Coach Deborah Griffiths
Website: www.brokentoboldness.com
Email: deborah@brokentoboldness.com
P.S.: Whether you're looking for tools to support your healing journey and personal growth resources. Explore guides, books, reflections, and practical content designed to help you grow in confidence, clarity, and courage as you move from brokenness to boldness. You can access our resources on the links below:
Handling Life Transitions? Alignment Workbook
Start your journey to Self-Discovery and Growth with The Bold and Boldness Journal
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