The popular TLC show, “Sister Wives,” has sparked extensive conversation about polygamy, narcissism, and the dynamics of healthy relationships. Kody Brown, the family’s patriarch, has long been a vocal advocate for polygamy, often quoting that “love should multiply.” Over the years, Kody expanded his family from one wife to four, fathered eighteen children, and now finds himself back with just one wife. What led to this change?

Fans of TLC’s “Sister Wives” are getting a deeper look into the unraveling of Kody’s polygamous relationships, with three of his four wives now having separated from him. As with many relationship breakups, the blame game has taken center stage, making it even more challenging when children are involved.

Are there any fans of the TLC’s “Sister Wives” show out there? Or, perhaps, maybe you’ve watched an episode or two? You might be surprised to learn that I’ve been captivated by the show for several years and its 19th season has just started. Why the interest? The concept of polygamy piqued my curiosity — not only because I initially thought it was illegal, but also because it’s so fascinating. What kind of men and women choose this lifestyle, and how do they manage their relationships when even “traditional” marriages are challenging?

As most of us already know, October is Domestic Violence Awareness month.  This is the time when some light is shed on this very dark topic in an effort to bring awareness and education to stop the abuse.  Domestic abuse, also known as domestic violence, is a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. Abuse can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure, or wound someone. Domestic abuse can occur within a range of relationships including married couples, cohabiting couples, or dating couples, and can affect individuals regardless of age, gender, economic standing, or sexual orientation.

No, I am not talking about the “F” word that rhymes with duck but the other “F” word that can be debilitating and paralyzing.  That word is “FEAR”.  How many times has this kept you from living your best life?  It kept me paralyzed for many years until I decided to end an abusive marriage.  Taking that step propelled me into a new life filled with wonderful and sometimes challenging experiences.  Let’s look at what “fear” is and what we can do to overcome it.

The words we speak or write are the threads that weave our thoughts and emotions into a shared experience. While the adage "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" persists, it distorts the profound impact that words have on our mental and emotional well-being. Far from harmless, words carry the power to deeply affect another person’s life, sometimes with devastating consequences.  For example, how many of you were told that you would never amount to anything?  Or perhaps that you will never make it?  Or, that no one would ever love you?  These words cut to the very core of who we are and, unfortunately, I have heard some of these words in the past and they can cut deep into the core of who we are.

In the complex world of relationships, both personal and professional, certain negative behaviors can arise that are important to recognize. Two such behaviors are "gaslighting" and "ghosting," each distinct in its nature but equally damaging. Understanding these terms and how they work can help us identify and protect ourselves from these toxic dynamics.

Have you noticed when scrolling social media that the words “gaslighting” and “narcissism” seem to constantly appear?  Or perhaps listen to the news, particularly political news, and we hear or see gaslighting and narcissism in action.  So then what exactly is narcissism, and can it be prevented?

Having been subjected to gaslighting myself where I have written two books on the subject, I wondered if someone could be gaslighted unintentionally.  The answer is “yes”.  So, if the answer is “yes”, how and when can gaslighting be unintentional?  Let’s look at what this is.  Unintentional gaslighting often arises when individuals, without malicious intent, invalidate or dismiss another's feelings or experiences due to their own biases, misunderstandings, or lack of awareness. It can occur in various settings, including personal relationships, workplaces, or social interactions. Here are a few examples:

Almost 30 years ago, I found myself waking up in a psych ward realizing that I survived a suicide attempt.  The doctor came in and simply said, “Your environment is making you sick.”  That statement got my wheels in motion.  Laying in that room I reflected on the past seventeen years and what led me to attempt suicide.  I came to the heartbreaking conclusion I was not happy in my marriage and realized that I was constantly walking on eggshells.  Nothing I said or did was ever good enough.  I was always to blame for the slightest infraction and, quite simply, I wasn’t treated well.  In those days, they referred to this as verbal abuse.  Now they coin this gaslighting.

Many individuals find themselves sacrificing their personal needs to satisfy the expectations of others, whether in personal relationships or professional settings. A recent survey I conducted affirmed this with 80% of respondents replying that they often or always compromise their needs for those of other people.  I admit to being guilty of this as well.

A few months ago, I conducted a survey asking respondents various questions designed to uncover the often-hidden struggles and challenges individuals face in their daily lives.  Sixty percent of respondents replied in one question that they hide their anger or frustration from others.  I am not surprised by this response as I am guilty of doing this as well. I left an abusive marriage after 17 years and found myself waking up in a psych ward after attempting suicide as I thought that was my only avenue of escape.  I later learned that depression (which led to the suicide attempt) is anger turned inwards.   

In our fast-paced, hyper-connected world, appearances often take precedence over authenticity. Many people find themselves donning a mask of happiness and composure, even when they're struggling internally. A recent survey I conducted showed that 80% of respondents replied that they sometimes or often find themselves pretending to be okay when they are not.  This phenomenon is rooted in several deep-seated social and psychological factors.  Let’s take a closer look!

Did you know that sharing your story can be a profoundly healing experience? Whether through writing, speaking, or creating art, opening up about your personal journey fosters emotional release and self-awareness. I know this can be hard to believe, but I personally experienced this when publishing my first book, “Torched- Burnt By a Gaslighter.”  Here’s some of the ways sharing my story benefited me:

Have you ever felt like your life is a book waiting to be written, but you're not sure how to start? Many of us dream of documenting our journeys, lessons, and personal transformations but struggle with the 'how' more than the 'what'. The good news? The pen is in your hands, and the blank pages await your story.

I was recently speaking with my coach the other day and jokingly said, “I don’t need enemies, I have me!” The conversation involved my questions, and yes, struggles, with growing a business. After the call, I thought about my statement further and the number of times those voices in my head told me that “I wasn’t good enough!” or “I didn’t have what it takes!”

Have you ever felt stuck?  Stuck in your job?  Stuck in your relationships?  Stuck in life?  I know I have!  In fact, I have worked with spiritual, business and health coaches as my goal is to continually work on me.  But what about you?  Have you ever worked with a coach? Let’s delve into the world of coaching and look at how having a coach can benefit you.

Did you know that one’s self-esteem is intricately woven into the fabric of our psychological well-being?  It also plays a pivotal role in shaping how we perceive and interact with the world around us. It is the mirror through which we view ourselves, often reflecting on our perceived worth, abilities, and inherent value. The journey of nurturing our self-esteem is deeply personal and varies significantly from one individual to another, often influenced by our life experiences, social interactions, and personal achievements or setbacks. Sharing one's story, therefore, emerges as a powerful vehicle for fostering a healthier self-esteem. It offers an opportunity for introspection, healing, and connection, allowing individuals to reclaim their narrative and affirm their worth.

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month.  According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), it is estimated that 1 in 9 female and 1 in 16 male high school students has experienced some type of dating abuse. 

In the intricate tapestry of life, self-worth forms the foundation upon which our emotional well-being rests. However, there are moments when this foundation crumbles under the weight of challenges, setbacks, or self-doubt. Rebuilding your self-worth is not only possible but also a transformative journey towards empowerment.