Gray Divorce: Why More Couples Are Starting Over After 50

For decades, divorce was seen as a young person’s problem — something that happened early, before life fully settled. But a quieter, powerful shift has been unfolding in recent years: gray divorce.

Gray divorce refers to the growing number of divorces among couples aged 50 and older, many of whom have been married for 20, 30, or even 40 years. While overall divorce rates in the U.S. have declined, divorces later in life have surged. Since the 1990s, divorce rates for people over 50 have roughly doubled, and for those over 65, they have tripled. Today, nearly one in three divorces involves someone over 50.

So what’s driving this trend?

One major factor is longevity. People are living longer, healthier lives — and many are asking hard questions: Do I want to spend the next 20 or 30 years feeling lonely, unseen, or unfulfilled? For some, the answer is no.

Cultural shifts also play a role. The Baby Boomer generation came of age during a time when divorce became more socially acceptable. Staying “for appearances” or out of obligation holds less weight than it once did. Add to that increased financial independence, particularly for women, and leaving a long-term marriage becomes more possible — even if it’s still emotionally complex.

Life transitions often act as catalysts. Retirement, an empty nest, health scares, or personal growth can expose emotional distance that’s been quietly growing for years. Many gray divorces aren’t explosive; they’re the result of long-term disconnection, unspoken resentment, or evolving identities.

Gray divorce isn’t about failure. For many, it’s about honesty, agency, and choosing alignment over endurance. It reflects a broader cultural permission to ask: What do I want the rest of my life to look like — and who do I want to be while living it?

If this resonates, you’re not alone. Listen to the Bent Not Broken podcast episode on gray divorce and discover what’s possible when you choose clarity, courage, and your next chapter.

Until next time,

Coach Deborah

Website: www.brokentoboldness.com

Email: deborah@brokentoboldness.com