Understanding Personality Types in Marriage, Dating, and Life After Divorce

Why do opposites attract—and why do those same differences sometimes create tension later?

In my recent conversation with Marita Littauer Tedder, we explored how understanding personality types can transform the way we approach marriage, dating, and even life after divorce.

Marita, co-author of Wired That Way, breaks personality down into four classic temperaments: Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholy, and Phlegmatic. While none of us are 100% one type, most of us lean heavily in one or two directions—and that blend shapes how we communicate, handle stress, love, and resolve conflict.

For example, the outgoing, high-energy Sanguine thrives on connection and fun. The driven Choleric is goal-oriented and decisive. The thoughtful Melancholy values structure and depth. The easygoing Phlegmatic seeks peace and stability.

Problems arise when we expect someone wired differently to respond the way we would.

If you’re expressive and emotional, you may feel unseen by a quieter partner. If you’re analytical and structured, you may feel frustrated by someone spontaneous. But personality awareness shifts the question from “What’s wrong with them?” to “How are we wired differently?”

This insight is especially powerful after divorce.

So many women lose themselves trying to meet a partner’s expectations. Understanding your personality helps you reclaim your emotional needs, recognize red flags versus normal differences, and avoid repeating unhealthy relationship patterns.

One of the biggest takeaways from this episode? No single partner can meet every emotional need. Healthy women build strong support systems—friendships, hobbies, purpose, faith—so a relationship enhances their life instead of carrying the entire emotional load.

When you understand how you’re wired, you stop chasing validation and start choosing alignment.

Personality isn’t a label. It’s information.

And when you use that information wisely, you don’t just survive relationships—you build healthier, stronger ones moving forward.