Having been subjected to gaslighting myself where I have written two books on the subject, I wondered if someone could be gaslighted unintentionally.  The answer is “yes”.  So, if the answer is “yes”, how and when can gaslighting be unintentional?  Let’s look at what this is.  Unintentional gaslighting often arises when individuals, without malicious intent, invalidate or dismiss another's feelings or experiences due to their own biases, misunderstandings, or lack of awareness. It can occur in various settings, including personal relationships, workplaces, or social interactions. Here are a few examples:

Almost 30 years ago, I found myself waking up in a psych ward realizing that I survived a suicide attempt.  The doctor came in and simply said, “Your environment is making you sick.”  That statement got my wheels in motion.  Laying in that room I reflected on the past seventeen years and what led me to attempt suicide.  I came to the heartbreaking conclusion I was not happy in my marriage and realized that I was constantly walking on eggshells.  Nothing I said or did was ever good enough.  I was always to blame for the slightest infraction and, quite simply, I wasn’t treated well.  In those days, they referred to this as verbal abuse.  Now they coin this gaslighting.

Many individuals find themselves sacrificing their personal needs to satisfy the expectations of others, whether in personal relationships or professional settings. A recent survey I conducted affirmed this with 80% of respondents replying that they often or always compromise their needs for those of other people.  I admit to being guilty of this as well.

A few months ago, I conducted a survey asking respondents various questions designed to uncover the often-hidden struggles and challenges individuals face in their daily lives.  Sixty percent of respondents replied in one question that they hide their anger or frustration from others.  I am not surprised by this response as I am guilty of doing this as well. I left an abusive marriage after 17 years and found myself waking up in a psych ward after attempting suicide as I thought that was my only avenue of escape.  I later learned that depression (which led to the suicide attempt) is anger turned inwards.   

In our fast-paced, hyper-connected world, appearances often take precedence over authenticity. Many people find themselves donning a mask of happiness and composure, even when they're struggling internally. A recent survey I conducted showed that 80% of respondents replied that they sometimes or often find themselves pretending to be okay when they are not.  This phenomenon is rooted in several deep-seated social and psychological factors.  Let’s take a closer look!

Did you know that sharing your story can be a profoundly healing experience? Whether through writing, speaking, or creating art, opening up about your personal journey fosters emotional release and self-awareness. I know this can be hard to believe, but I personally experienced this when publishing my first book, “Torched- Burnt By a Gaslighter.”  Here’s some of the ways sharing my story benefited me:

Have you ever felt like your life is a book waiting to be written, but you're not sure how to start? Many of us dream of documenting our journeys, lessons, and personal transformations but struggle with the 'how' more than the 'what'. The good news? The pen is in your hands, and the blank pages await your story.

I was recently speaking with my coach the other day and jokingly said, “I don’t need enemies, I have me!” The conversation involved my questions, and yes, struggles, with growing a business. After the call, I thought about my statement further and the number of times those voices in my head told me that “I wasn’t good enough!” or “I didn’t have what it takes!”

Have you ever felt stuck?  Stuck in your job?  Stuck in your relationships?  Stuck in life?  I know I have!  In fact, I have worked with spiritual, business and health coaches as my goal is to continually work on me.  But what about you?  Have you ever worked with a coach? Let’s delve into the world of coaching and look at how having a coach can benefit you.

Did you know that one’s self-esteem is intricately woven into the fabric of our psychological well-being?  It also plays a pivotal role in shaping how we perceive and interact with the world around us. It is the mirror through which we view ourselves, often reflecting on our perceived worth, abilities, and inherent value. The journey of nurturing our self-esteem is deeply personal and varies significantly from one individual to another, often influenced by our life experiences, social interactions, and personal achievements or setbacks. Sharing one's story, therefore, emerges as a powerful vehicle for fostering a healthier self-esteem. It offers an opportunity for introspection, healing, and connection, allowing individuals to reclaim their narrative and affirm their worth.

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month.  According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), it is estimated that 1 in 9 female and 1 in 16 male high school students has experienced some type of dating abuse. 

In the intricate tapestry of life, self-worth forms the foundation upon which our emotional well-being rests. However, there are moments when this foundation crumbles under the weight of challenges, setbacks, or self-doubt. Rebuilding your self-worth is not only possible but also a transformative journey towards empowerment.

Breaking free from an abusive relationship marks the courageous initiation of a journey toward self-discovery and healing. It's a profound decision that demands resilience, strength, and a commitment to rebuilding one's life. The path to recovery may be challenging, but it is undoubtedly transformative.

As we step into a new year, I want to express my sincere gratitude for your continued trust and collaboration. The past year has been filled with shared successes and growth, and I am eager to support you in navigating the exciting opportunities that lie ahead.

As we head into a new year, I wanted to take a minute and talk about self-esteem and spotting signs when your relationship might need a tune-up. Let's break it down with five must-know signs to keep your self-esteem soaring!

The holiday season is difficult for many people, especially for victims of domestic violence. Here are some reasons the holidays are especially hard for victims of domestic abuse:

In a world where silence often shrouds the painful experiences of abuse, finding the strength to open up and share your story can be a powerful step towards healing. The journey of recovery is unique for each survivor, but one common thread that binds many is the transformative power of breaking the silence. In this blog, we'll explore the importance of opening up about your experience of abuse, the challenges involved, and the healing that can arise from sharing your story.

As you may already know, October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. In my effort to continually educate on the red flags and subtleties of abuse, especially gaslighting, I wanted to point out five common misconceptions.

The real reasons why narcissists engage in gaslighting behavior are complex and may vary from one individual to another. However, some common underlying motivations for gaslighting by narcissists include:

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that can have profound and lasting effects on a person's mental and emotional well-being. This insidious behavior can occur in various settings, including relationships, workplaces, and even among friends and family. In this blog, we will delve into the effects of being gaslighted, shedding light on the damage it can inflict and offering guidance on how to heal.