Narcissists & Gaslighting - How Do They relate?

Many of you have heard the words narcissist and gaslighting.  In fact, you may have heard them used together in the same sentence!  But how do they relate to each other?  Let’s begin with defining these terms.

Who are Narcissists?  Narcissists are people who have an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for admiration and lack empathy for others. They often have an exaggerated sense of entitlement and may exploit or manipulate others to get what they want.

Now turning to gaslighting, what is it?  Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse in which a person manipulates someone else into doubting their own perceptions, memories, and sanity.

Gaslighting is a common tactic used by narcissists to control and manipulate others. They may use it to make their victims question their own reality, which can make them more susceptible to their manipulations. For example, a narcissist may deny that something they said or did happened, even though the victim knows it did. The narcissist may also twist the victim's words or actions and use them against them, making them feel confused and guilty.

Gaslighting can have serious psychological effects on the victim, including anxiety, depression, and a loss of self-esteem. Victims of gaslighting may feel like they are losing their grip on reality, which can make it difficult for them to trust themselves or others. It is important for victims of gaslighting to seek support from friends, family, or a mental health professional, and to distance themselves from the narcissist as much as possible.

So how do narcissists attract their victims? They are often skilled in attraction and manipulation.  Here are some common tactics they may use:

1.     Love Bombing: Narcissists often shower their victims with attention, affection, and compliments early on in a relationship. This can make the victim feel special and loved, but it's often part of a larger manipulation tactic.

2.     Charm and Charisma: Narcissists are often very charming and charismatic, which can make them attractive to others. They may use their charm to manipulate and control others, and may present a false image of themselves to gain trust and admiration.

3.     Gaslighting: I won’t repeat the definition here as it has already been defined.

4.     Isolation: Narcissists may try to isolate their victims from friends and family members, in order to gain more control over them. This can make the victim more dependent on the narcissist and less likely to seek help or support.

5.     Emotional Manipulation: Narcissists may use guilt, shame, or other emotional tactics to manipulate their victims. They may also exploit their victim's vulnerabilities or weaknesses to gain control over them.

It's important to note that not all narcissists use these tactics, and not all victims of narcissistic abuse will experience all of these behaviors. However, it's common for narcissists to use a combination of these tactics to manipulate and control their victims.  In addition, isolation and emotional manipulation are also signs of gaslighting.

Who are narcissists are attracted to?

Narcissists can be attracted to a variety of personalities, but they often seek out individuals who are vulnerable or have certain traits that make them more susceptible to manipulation. Here are some types of personalities that narcissists may be attracted to:

1.     Empathetic and compassionate individuals: Narcissists may be drawn to individuals who are empathetic and caring, as these traits can be exploited for their own benefit. Empaths may have a tendency to put the needs of others before their own, which can make them vulnerable to the narcissist's manipulations.

2.     People with low self-esteem: Narcissists may be attracted to individuals who have low self-esteem, as they are more likely to seek validation and acceptance from others. A narcissist can use this to their advantage, by providing compliments and praise early on in a relationship and then withdrawing it later, making the victim more dependent on them.

3.     People who are easily influenced: Narcissists may be attracted to individuals who are easily influenced or swayed by others. This can make it easier for the narcissist to control and manipulate them.

4.     People who are codependent: Narcissists may be attracted to individuals who are codependent, as they may have a strong desire to take care of others and feel responsible for their well-being. This can make them more willing to put up with the narcissist's behavior and less likely to leave the relationship.

5.     People who are highly ambitious or successful: Narcissists may be attracted to individuals who are highly successful or ambitious, as they may view them as a reflection of their own success and status. The narcissist may try to associate themselves with the person's success or take credit for it, in order to boost their own ego.

As you can see, these terms, narcissism and gaslighting, go hand in hand.  In the event you are unaware, we are coming to the close of the month of February which is designated as Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month.  One in three teens will experience physical, sexual or emotional abuse from someone they are in a relationship with before they become adults.  And nearly half (43%) of U.S. College women report experiencing violent or abusive dating behaviors. If you, or anyone you know, is experiencing some type of abuse, please contact the Domestic Violence Awareness Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE.  Together we can stop this violence.

For more information, please visit my website at www.brokentoboldness.com 

Until next time, Dieu le Veult!